i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
