She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
