Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
