can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
