People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
