There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
