she was so not down for the gang bang
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
