Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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