using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
