I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
