I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
