Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
