I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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