I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
