I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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