Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
