Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
