She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
