Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
