so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
