that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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