So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
