I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
