did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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