I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
