listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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