We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
