I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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