It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
