dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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