Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
