sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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