can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
