No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
