Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
