She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
