We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
