in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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