I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
