So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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