The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
