just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
