we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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