That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
