sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
