Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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