It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
