You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
