I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
