Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
