Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
