Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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