so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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