How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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